My Life

5 Amazing Changes That Happen When You Live Alone

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When I was a kid, I used to play with my fantasy that I’m living alone. Growing up into a teen, the idea of living alone would excite me. In college, I didn’t know I would have the opportunity to live alone. Although, my parents were nervous, they respected my decision and my reasons behind choosing to live alone. I am thankful of the trust they gave me.

At the age of 16, I lived alone in a country away from my family. I stayed in an apartment alone and because it was my first time, every night was filled with fears, loneliness, and homesickness. At the age of 19, I moved to another city and again preferred to stay alone but this time in a condominium unit – no room mate or  trusted friends next door.

Though living alone has been difficult, it’s been a great thing for me that I’m very thankful at for it has become a training for me to become better and independent.

Through the years of living alone, I gathered 5 amazing things that happened to me, and may happen to you as well.

You become closer to God

Although, I am free to do anything, the fact that God is watching me all the time, makes me avoid to commit anything that would displease Him. I respect the trust my parents have given me, but I fear God more.  I set limits to myself in accordance to my faith, curfew and do’s and dont’s. In times I needed a company I know God has been there to guide, support, protect me. In times, that I don’t know what to do next, how to fix my stuff, how to be brave, I believe He’s been watching me. As I become more independent from people, I become dependent on Him because He is the One I know that has been accompanying me to survive the daily struggles of living, of studying, and of achieving my dreams. I practiced patience – believing that He won’t leave me alone and trusting His plans knowing that everything He decreed for me is the best for me.

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You gain more strength

There have been several times that my patience, faith and capabilities were tested. In times of difficulties and loss, I feel weak and down but instead of giving up I persevere to become strong. I don’t escape from my weaknesses and fears because if I do, I’d end up losing more, so I face those fears and replace it with my strengths.

You discover more of your abilities

When you spend your extra time at home alone by trying amazing things, reading, and acquiring new skills instead of sitting on the couch watching the same movie all the time, you discover more of your potential, you discover more of your abilities, you discover that there are more things you could actually do. Spending my idle time in enhancing my passion in designing websites, coding, and writing made me learn more about my skills and talents, and made me realize that by practicing, I could improve.

I acquired amazing skills from exploring and trained myself to be disciplined. Living alone has been training for me to do my own chores too – washing clothes, cooking, cleaning, and grocery, not depending on anyone.

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You don’t have a choice but to be brave

There are times when I felt fearful, but I couldn’t let those digest me so I had to face those fears and to woman up by being brave enough to protect myself. I have to make myself feel secured knowing that I can rely on myself.

You realize the importance of family

Although I’m still financially dependent, I try my best not to depend on my family when it comes to solving my own problems, struggles and satisfying my material wants, still I’m amazed at how they make me feel supported by them at all times. I realize that family is the best gift that God has given me that although we are away from each other, they don’t fail to show me their unconditional love. Every time I have my time to spend my vacation off from university back to my family, I make sure that I cherish every moment for they are truly missed by me. No distance would change the bond we have as a family.

Najmah is a 23 year old Filipino Muslim, Clinical Nutritionist and Med student. Born and raised in Saudi Arabia. Living in the Philippines since 2010. By Najmah contains posts about her life lessons, personal excellence and journey to becoming a doctor. You can also find her blogging on The Muslim Bricks

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13 Comments

  1. Suhaila

    September 23, 2015 at 6:33 pm

    I lived alone for my university years and a couple years after, until I got married, and I completely agree with everything you said here. And it’s interesting that I actually became closer to my family by moving away! Absence makes the heart grow fonder 🙂

    • Najmah Capal

      September 24, 2015 at 9:16 am

      True, sister Suhaila! Each second I spend with my family every time I have a vacation back to them makes me cherish it. <3

  2. Umme Hafsa

    September 23, 2015 at 7:50 pm

    Point 3 & 4 are sooo true! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve pestered my family members to get rid of spiders/insects – when I could have managed just fine with it ?

    I also love how you said ‘I have to make myself feel secured knowing that I can rely on myself’ – It such an important relationship to have with yourself – that certainty that you can count on yourself 🙂

    • Najmah Capal

      September 24, 2015 at 9:14 am

      When I was with my family, just seeing insects and lizards will make me cry and scared to even step inside our home unless I’m sure it’s gone lol. Some months ago a bird suddenly came inside my room through window, and I jumped outside but I had to be brave to get in and call the maintenance staff to help me lol.

      Truly, in times like these, I trained myself to be brave enough to protect myself and survive. 🙂

  3. Ruku

    September 25, 2015 at 8:37 pm

    You’re so right. Living apart from your family teaches you resilience, and definitely builds character. Also, my first job taught me the value of money, and how never to take it for granted.

  4. Sara Essop

    September 26, 2015 at 6:12 am

    Masha’Allah you are brave to live alone. I have never lived alone in my life. I don’t know if I am capable of it.

  5. Zeinab Al-Hussaini

    September 26, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    I really liked this post. I just moved away from home in August for college. The respect and trust my parents have given me just shows that they know they raised me right. You feel more responsible because you actually have to be an adult.

    xo
    Zeinab

  6. Foz

    September 26, 2015 at 10:23 pm

    I have never lived totally alone…was without family at uni but had roommates…then when Hubby went to hajj I was alone but had the girls…. Not sure I could live totally alone! I crave company!

  7. BritDeshiMummy

    September 27, 2015 at 9:23 am

    I went from living at my parents and sharing a room
    With siblings to living in a home with just my husband! Although I have never lived alone being without my family did feel lonely! It has made me appreciate my family and relationship with them

  8. Karima

    September 27, 2015 at 9:32 pm

    I lived alone for a while and it is true you have to face everything yourself and it makes you stronger.

  9. Sahar

    September 28, 2015 at 1:59 pm

    Like a few of the comments above.. I too have never had a chance to live alone. I imagine I would be good at it.. But I guess we’ll never know!
    Very unique and insightful topic… Thanks for the interesting read 🙂

  10. Ayesha B

    September 28, 2015 at 3:34 pm

    I completely agree! And alhamdulillah the changes you go through are amazing. I’d say you learn to manage your time as well. It’s not just about worrying about work/studies anymore; if you wanna have dinner you need to plan ahead and get all the little bits and pieces beforehand. Also I never realised how much in advance you have to start cooking to actually devour the meal in 10 minutes.
    You need to take time out for laundry. I never did that at home. You need to take time out to iron and hang your clothes. Never did that either. If you want to eat on time the next day, you also have to do the dishes on time. I never had to do that at home. So organising your time better is a big change for me.

  11. aussiepursuit

    October 8, 2015 at 1:45 am

    i have lived alone and decide for myself for so long. Now that I recently got married, I have to learn how to live with another person in such an intensity and share the decision making, and sometimes follow his decision although I disagree lolz.

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